Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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