don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
