so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
