Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
