Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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