Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
