Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
