Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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