Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
