Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
