smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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