I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
