Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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