Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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