Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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