This is not my ceiling
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
