The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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