College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
