and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
my poor anus
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
