just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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