dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Randomize
