i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Say something about gay babies.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize