i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I deserve this hangover.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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