I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
