you guys were way drunker than both of me
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
