just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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