she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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