She said her name was "party"
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
