my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
