She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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