Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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