I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
