I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
