It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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