I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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