So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
