dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Randomize
