just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize