so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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