Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i was born a porn star she said
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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