DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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