fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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