I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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