I didn't shave. On purpose
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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