just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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