just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
