In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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