She is in my trunk
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
