The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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