I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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