dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
