I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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