you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
