so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
