have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
