Do vagina's smell?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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