Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
