Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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