Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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