her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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