Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize