I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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