he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
