Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Randomize