Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
