there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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