I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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