you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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