Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
