Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
