Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
