you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
