Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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