Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize